Celtic Banter Archive September 12 2011

12 Sep 2011 23:45:31
I never wanted to believe my dad stole from his job as a road worker. But when I got home....... all the signs were there!

12 Sep 2011 23:33:43
First time poster, long time reader:

The Jock Stein article was fantastic Ed. Makes you proud to follow the bhoys through the good times and bad. {Ed007's Note - Thanks very much and welcome to the site.}

12 Sep 2011 22:13:21
Ed007, bhoys found this song we could maybe sing at Ibrox, updated of course >

Borrow, Borrow, we will borrow Millions
Anywhere, and every where we will borrow On
Dundee, Hamilton, we'll even tap the Vatican
If we go to Dublin, we will borrow On
For there's not a bank, like the Bank of Scotland
No not one, and there never shall be One
The bank knows all about our troubles
So we wont pay until the day is Gone

As re released by Timalloy ( Record Producer)

12 Sep 2011 21:14:06
I love my new job with the samaritans just had a Rangers fan called Billy phoning up, he said he's had enough of the tax bill talk and was on the train tracks. I said "Billy calm down and stay on the line"

A know billy cheer up at least you will be able to watch the gers get a crucial win on sunday

12 Sep 2011 21:02:39
dont know iv got a feeling its gonna be 3-1 to rangers sunday might be worth a few quid {Ed007's Note - Can you afford the bet Mr Whyte? At least there is no tax on gambling now, right up your street, Shooter.}

And it was Mr Whyte who got Rangers into this mess?? Here was me thinking it was Sir Dave and the previous regime {Ed007's Note - Whyte knew the problems before he spent his £1. The 'big boys done it and ran away' isn't going to work this time. Who said they were going to pay off the debt and just transferred it? It wasn't Mr Whyte was it? I thought I had made that up MONTHS ago when I explained it? This situation isn't a shock to me. John 8:32}

No matter what way you try to put it... Mr Whyte INHERITED the mess. He didn't CREATE it. {Ed007's Note - He was aware of the mess though, otherwise the due diligence process was flawed, which again would be his mistake. He didn't INHERIT (why the capitals?) anything, if he did he would be eligible for INHERITANCE TAX also. Craig Whyte knew exactly the financial meltdown he was buying (for £1), the tax cases were already underway, or has November's hearing been rushed through since the 'fakeover'? John 8:32

www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2036690/Rangers-owner-Craig-Whyte-refuses-rule-threat-administration.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

12 Sep 2011 20:58:09
here ed wer kin a doonload ma hector hector the tacks in spectur mask? {Ed007's Note - I don't know mate, is Vera feeling ok? Or are you really that ugly?}

Here ed ad luv tae sneek intae wee tim but dims bedroom wae that oan eh,n shout the games up craigie

Aye tae baith

12 Sep 2011 20:37:53
here ed regaurdin yir boaxir site mate kin ah 3 yir auld bitch mate wae ah 6 yir auld dug,if so you kin huv the pik ae the littur,
fae adug luvvur {Ed007's Note - Moneypenny already has her Pekingese/Doberman cross, so I'll pass.}

So the dugs a peekin dobber?
a wee bit like me ed?

12 Sep 2011 20:26:01
For Christ sake, can't believe the Jelavic bid was true and they aren't in administration after all. Gotta a bad feeling Rangers are gonna beat us bad {Ed007's Note - Are you watching Dispatches? I think you have came on the wrong page, isn't it the Conspiracy site you are looking for?}

12 Sep 2011 19:40:17
hi ed a wundr if you cood teach me tae throw ma wee vera hurd roon the room n gie hur a pile drivur tae the nappur, then finish hur aff wae a 5 erm smash tae hur jaw then stranul hur till she shouts ah submit ah submit, jist so ah kin watch ma hoarsis oan the telly,
bit in anice waey so thit she widnae git fun oot wae the doakturs in stobie,ur the royul
this iz ma furst poast oan yir restlin malarkie site bit am sure ye kin tell that ah no aw the moovs eh ,
gie ma luv tae jacky parlow, n mik mik manis,n' that othur wan giant daddy,n big haystiks,jings roll oan seturdaey eftirnins agane, a well wishur

Rocket!

Aye rockit thats the uthir wan

Pat, do you think Whyte is "wrestling" with his conscience to pay all the bills.
Timalloy (ps pat remember Kent Walton the wrestling commentator?) {Ed007's Note - I remember him Tim. World of Sport with Dickie Davies, then they moved it to 12.30, watched it with my dad before heading to the football.}

12 Sep 2011 18:54:34
Ed007, last night you said I never put an "effin" tag on my post, and it set me thinking. How many remember the great folksinger Matt McGinn well here is an abridged poem of his called
The Big Effen Bee

He kept bees in the old town of Effen
An Effen bee keeper was He
And one day this big Effen bee Keeper
Was stung by a big Effen Bee
Now this big Effen bee Keeper's
Wee Effen wife for the big Effen polis she Ran
For there's nobody can sort out a big Effen Bee
Like a big Effen Polisman CAN LOL Timalloy {Ed007's Note - I've never heard of him mate. Nice poem, though he is obviously not a great inspiration to yourself ;-)

It was Matt McGinn, a Celtic supporter. that wrote the words to the song "The Ibrox Disaster" {Ed007's Note - I have heard that song, but never knew who wrote it.}

Ed007, Matt McGinn was a well known folksonger not just in Glasgow but around the world. There is a pub Called the Two Heided Man, next to Central Station, round the corner from the Hielanman's Umbrella for those who know Glasgow. This is a pub filled with Matt McGinn memoribilia and you get a good pint and it is a Celtic pub Timalloy {Ed007's Note - Yeah, I saw that bout the pub, I've been in there!!! LOL Must have been a bit worse for wear or 'having a Pat' that night:

www.glesga.ukpals.com/profiles/mattmcginn.htm

Havin a pat how very well dare you edwardoh,gaun gess who bet ye canae tell ,here you ya big midden did ah wee burd tell me thit tim wae hiz alloys is a faither agne ?ur wiz hiz wife jist pregnunt?if so meny happie returns wee chap wiz it a boay ur wiz it a wee lassie like yir sell ?
gaun gess who bet ye ye canny //////////////////

Ha ha Pat, No I am not a father again two lovely girls is enough for me and mrs Tim, my niece gave birth to a lovely wee bhoy, she stayed with us as her husband works on oil rigs. But thanks for your sentiments. Timalloy (Pat what are your thoughts on Rangers financial problems please give us your expert view)

Here timbo ma sun ah goat thrown oot wan ae they sperm banks the othur day fur sayin,
ah want tae make a deposit,
here ah hope she gethered it aw up agane , ( spidurman spidurman this looks like ajoab fur spidurman? premo ejak spidurman)
whit , thats a livin thing ,iz elo used tae sing,ah wunder did they huv the same probs

Well if they wur oan a ledge ahd be shoutin jump before yir kicked, bit thats only an opinyun,
( no animals wur hermed in that exparimint ah huv tae stress)

12 Sep 2011 18:00:28
so feruz has went to chelsea,so much 4 loyalty? just hope celtic tae chelsea 2 the cleaners 4 this,they hae previous,the boy kakuta,wat u fellow tims think?

Is that you just realising they are no loyalty in football? He is a young boy and getting bad advice off his agent. Chelsea have probably offered life changing money to him and gave his agent a few quid to talk him into a move to Chelsea. Its the way of life in football now. MONEY TALKS.
ps Timalloy were do you get those jokes from? They are BRUTAL lol.
Followfollow40081 {Ed007's Note - His agent turned his head long ago, he hasn't been at Lennoxtown for months.}

Followfollow81, if the boy Feruz wants to go let him, he knows in his heart how much Tommy Burns did for him and his family, but to a boy born into poverty what Chelsea offered was too good to turn down. I think Chelsea have acted poorly here. Timalloy (got plenty more jokes for everybody ha ha )

12 Sep 2011 16:47:06
Afternoon Ed007, just in and saw someone has complained about one of my jokes (only ONE?)
seriously, no offence was intended. Funny how some bears can call me all the names under the sun on their sight, but are offended by a daft wee joke. But to any Rangers fan offended sorry. But i will still be sending in jokes as usual, perhaps Tony can be "quality control" hail hail Timalloy {Ed007's Note - Don't worry about it Tim, if it was offensive I wouldn't have put it up. Who it was meant to offend though? Rangers? Catholics? Brazil? Some people are just so pathetic they will pounce on anything claiming it is 'bigoted' or 'sectarianism' without actually knowing the meaning. I was reading the Rangers pages earlier (just to cheer myself up) and someone wanted to know what the badge on CFC's top was on Saturday, and if they could complain about it!! How sad is that guy's life?}

Cheers Ed007, I just hope no bears are still "cross" with me and have their "beady" eye on me, as I hope everything comes up "rosaries" (ouch), it's just a "blessing" that only one bear was offended. LOL Timalloy (Religious Correspondent)

Here timbo noo am no wan tae kritisise ye sun coz ye prob went tae a timbo skool (it nivur dun me eny herum, here sun a wiz heedhuntit fae the cheef heedhuntin heed, fur a post it glesga uni ye no mainlie ciz ah wiz baurd fae posso uni n springy akadimy tae ,bit this guy offurd me a post in in saint andras teechin engulish bit ah turnt it doon cos it wiznae cash n haun ,n ah wid be awaey fae the wans thit ur closist tae me,tae be awaey up in st andras on ma own away fae ma furst n onlie luv , the sellik, ah suppose ah cood huv watchit oan arabic scotsport, ur that othir chanul jaheeda poland, here ah wiz in the heed wan day n ah sade tae big Angus,
"HERE BIG ANGUS is the sellik game oan?
he sade "jaheeda/
" ah sade dont you fkin stert ah nevur touched hur,n any mare ae that n yir baurd, (furgettin thit it wiz his pub hee haw ed hee haw

12 Sep 2011 13:38:49
I think everybody should get off Islam Feruz's case. He doesn't owe it to Tommy Burns to stay at Celtic, he owes it to Tommy Burns to be the best he can be and make the most of his amazing potential. And training alongside Torres, Lampard, Malouda etc will help him achieve this. All this bench warmer talk is just sour grapes, if he is as good as everyone says then he'll get a chance for Chelsea. And let's not forget that he came from severe poverty so doubling/tripling his wages is very appealing for him an his family. I understand my fellow fans frustration but he isn't a dyed in the wool tim like us, he doesn't have the same emotional bond with the club. We have to accept that in this day and age, Chelsea are a bigger team than us and are a more exciting prospect for a young player. I'm gutted but I wish him all the best and hope he makes Tommy proud. Celtic can now concentrate on the players who do want to play for us.
Kevbhoy

Bigger club (my arse) with NO history and without Abramovics money they would be in the same boat as the other blue mob and probably mid table EPL team.

MKC

Of course they don't have our history. Very few clubs do. But the fact is they DO have abramovic's money and so can attract the best managers/players etc. In terms of the here and now, they have been to CL finals, semis and quarters in the past few years and we haven't. I know it's all down to finance and we deserve the same kind of spending power being the huge club that we are, but until we can match their money, Chelsea will be a more attractive prospect to a neutral young player
Kevbhoy

12 Sep 2011 11:56:12
Dear Ed, got told a couple of jokes so with apologies to timalloy our joke teller here goes:
What is the difference between a battery and a Rangers Fan?
A battery has a POSITIVE side!
Why do Sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
They don't want to be mistaken for female Rangers supporters! LOL Neil T

Ok everyone il let him down since no one else wants to , your jokes are p!sh haha {Ed007's Note - Have you seen Tim's????}

12 Sep 2011 10:26:14
Good Morning Ed, I enjoyed reading all the posts last night, about Rangers financial problems, it got quite lively which I enjoyed, but credit to yourself you allowed a debate without any silly stuff.
Can I add my thoughts? Rangers only have themselves to blame for a) poor financial management, spending beyoynd their means and b) trying to buy a successful team illegally and to lure players with cash inducements they knew were wrong.
I agree with Timalloy, in that we dont want Rangers going out of business, but a few years in the wilderness after administration would be good to see.
Ed, timalloy and myself and thousands of other Celtic fans have seen the press and gers fans gloat when we were having our problems, they showed us no sympathy then, in fact the press revelled in our problems, so sorry all you Rangers fans but permit me and all our Celtic fans if we shed no tears just now for you, and in fact we can laugh at your ever increasing ways of trying to silence the truth.
Neil T (ps wee pat I would LOVE to hear your take on rangers financial problems, hope we get a blog from you hail hail) {Ed007's Note - Morning Neil.}

12 Sep 2011 01:51:52
The 'warchest' has been found....keep your eyes peeled on the rangers sightings;)