09 Oct 2011 21:45:44
Sorry Ed007, just saw your "God" answer and it reminded me of this TRUE story.
A teacher friend of mine recounted this to us....
A little girl about 7 years old was nervously waiting to cross the road to her primary school opposite (the lollipop man had not turned up but a policeman in his car was about to take over his duties) anyway the girl just waited and waited and was obviously nervous about crossing the road, so the policeman put on his tannoy in the car and said "little girl it's OK to cross now" the girl ran across the road and then looked up to the sky and said "Thank You God"
Thought I would leave you all with a "cuddly story" aawwww the nice LOL Timalloy (A very very NICE man) {Ed007's Note - Lazy bloody coppers!!!! ;-)
Celtic Banter Archive October 09 2011
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09 Oct 2011 21:34:05
Ed007, Miko signing off now, busy week ahead so I wont be on much after this (not because Mrs T complains, besides I wait till she is out the house ha ha) Been a good bhoy today not visited dark side once, took pity on them.
Hey Miko here is something funnier than any joke
"Rough Diamond Lafferty now showing superb form"
headline in scotsman paper, ha ha think editor is a bear LOL Timalloy
Scots crofter visits Laird and is offered a whisky, laird pours smallest measure seen and tells crofter it is 14 years old, crofter looks at it and says "aye but it's gey wee for its age" {Ed007's Note - Well he got the rough part right. Take care mate.}
Nite Tim....Miko
His goals to games ratio over last ten games says he is in the form of his life right now, better "form" than any celtic player in my mind ... name a celtic player in better form than lafferty right now over the last 10 games.......
this'll be interestin !
Germinator {Ed007's Note - Why only the last 10 games? Because his career stats are shocking? You can't just pick stats to suit.}
Cos the point being made is about the headline saying he is in superb form. you and tim both thought this was a load of bawz ..... i simply challenged it asking if there is a btter "form" player in the hoops id like to know .....
Germinator {Ed007's Note - I've been through all this before, I never have and never will rate Kylie.}
But i aint rating him ?! i wasnt even the one bringing the subject up im only arguin the point made by both of you that he aint in superb form .... it simply aint true, u can say he is awful your entitled to ur opinion ... 2.5 years ago the majority of gers fans would have agreed with you. But u cannot take away the fact that currently his form has been excellent .... whether this last or not i cant say but i think im correct in stating for all the donkey he is proclaimed to be he is still arguably better in better form than any player pulling on the hoops at the moment (now this could be co the team are playing well in the SPL or players doing everything for him but facts are facts). the reality that no one has came up with a player says it all really?
Germinator {Ed007's Note - Where did I say anything about his form? I made an off the cuff comment about the use of the word rough. Here is the current goalscoring chart, hardly running amok is he?
news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/scot_prem/top_scorers/default.stm}
09 Oct 2011 21:32:32
ki commons and hooper leaving in january, watch this space! {Ed007's Note - There is no way I am sitting staring at this space till January!!! 99% of post that say that or FACT are BS and shouldn't be taken seriously in any way shape or form, but I will give your moment in the sunshine.}
I'm sure he'll be well chuffed Ed! You're a good lad.......Miko {Ed007's Note - I'm 37 lol I've not been called a lad in a while.}
To be honest..with the way most of them are playing at the moment, who leave in January will not bother me. The whole team just looks lazy & yes, as in most workplaces when things are going wrong, the Manager has to take some responsibility. Keep Izzy...
09 Oct 2011 20:52:14
Rangers,Celtic and Hearts fan are away for a weekend on the lash but get locked out of their hotel.
They stumble across a farm and knock the door.
The farmer has room for 2 of them with the third having to spend the night in a barn with the pig.
The rangers fan agrees to go in the barn, however after ten minutes he knocks at the door and says 'the smell is overpowering, no way can I spend the night in there'.
The hearts fan volunteers next, but again within ten minutes knocks the door because of the smell.
The celtic fan offers to go in the barn and within five minutes theres a knock at the door.......
Its the pig.
09 Oct 2011 20:50:34
Last one, honest!
Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for seven days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him. He inquired of God, "Where were you?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds; "Look son, look what I'm after making." Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" God replied, "It's another planet but I'm after putting LIFE on it. I've named it earth and there's going to be a balance between everything on it. For example, there's North America and South America. North America is going to be rich and South America is going to be poor, and the narrow bit joining them - that's going to be a hot spot. Now look over here. I've put a continent of whites in the north and another one with coloured people in the south." And then the archangel said, "And what's that green dot there?" And God said "Ahhh, that's Parkhead. Also known as Paradise - That is a very special place. That's going to be the most glorious spot on earth, beautiful stands, a perfect pitch, an aura of holiness, breathtaking atmosphere, and an exquisite team to grace it. These people here are going to be of great intelligence and they're going to be found exploring the seven seas. They'll be playwrights and poets and singers and songwriters. And I'm going to give them great teams who can play quality football, which they're going to worship and for which people will come from the far corners of the earth to watch. I will give them the blessed, I will give them Jock Stein, Jinky Johnstone, Tommy Burns, Paul McStay, Wim Jansen and James McGrory and these men amongst men will lift this club to unlimited glories, and they shall be touched by my hand." Michael the Archangel gasped in wonder and admiration but then seeming startled, he proclaimed: "Hold on a second, balance, what about balance? You said there was going to be a balance..." God replied wisely: "Wait until you see the plonkers I'm putting next door to them."
Miko {Ed007's Note - That is better than all of Tims put together ;-)
Cheers Ed, lol. You'll need to up your game Timy, my friend!.....Miko
Haw Ed, you, myself and Timy are either 3 individuals or you're schizophrenic......or is it I'm schizophrenic?.......Miko {Ed007's Note - I'm omni-present. I actually don't know if I really exist anymore. That conspiracy site is wrecking my mind lol.}
09 Oct 2011 20:28:58
Two Rangers fans with a dog are sitting at the bar when in walks a man straight over to the Dog and lifts its tail up, he takes a long look and then orders a drink a sits at a table. Stunned the two G@rs look to each other in Disbelief, did that just happen? A short while later another man enters and walks over to the Dog lifts its tail has a good look and then buys a drink and sits down. The puzzled G@rs vow if this happens again they will ask the next man whats going on. They dont have to wait long, as the man approaches they wait until he lifts the dogs tail and one pipes up "Here you whats the crack wi ma dog big man?" he asks. "Oh nothing mate its just theres a Celtic fan out there who says theres a Dog in here wi two ar53h0les". Pmsl.....Miko
Evening Miko, Ed007 just taking a look on here and saw the jokes, ha ha Ed007 must be your worst nightmare TWO of us with daft jokes. LOL (ps at least you can compare IP's for all the sceptic bears out there) Timalloy {Ed007's Note - Miko's jokes are putting you to shame mate. As for you and Miko being the same person even Ed014 asked me why Rangers fans keep going on about it. I blamed the schools ;-)
Ed007, tell Ed014 the truth we are TWINS ha ha, (sorry Miko) but imagine all those bears "don't go near the Celtic site, it's a trap, there are TWO OF THEM ha ha Mikalloy, Timmiko {Ed007's Note - Nah, I doubt Miko is under the thumb with his Mrs taking his PC off him for spending too much time on it. ;-) Things like that are genetic or having an over-powering mother.}
Evening Timy!......Miko {Ed007's Note - Oh God, now he is talking to himself again!}
09 Oct 2011 20:15:29
A father takes his young son to the zoo where they are fascinated by the lions. "Daddy, Daddy, why is that lion licking his bum?" asks the wee boy.
"Son, that's because he has just eaten a Rangers fan and is trying to get rid of the taste" ......Pmsl.....Miko
09 Oct 2011 20:10:19
On a tour of Scotland, the Pope took a couple of days off his itinerary to visit the north coast near aberdeen on an impromptu sightseeing trip.
His 4X4 Popemobile was driving along the golden sands when there was an enormous commotion heard just off the headland. They rushed to see what it was and upon approaching the scene the Pope noticed just outside the surf, a hapless man wearing a Rangers football shirt, struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a twenty-foot shark.
At that moment a speedboat containing three men wearing Celtic shirts roared into view from around the point. Spontaneously, one of the men took aim and fired a harpoon into the shark's ribs, immobilising it instantly.
The other two reached out and pulled the shameful one from the water and then, using long clubs, beat the shark to death.
They bundled the bleeding, semi-conscious man into the speedboat along with the dead shark and then prepared for a hasty retreat, when they heard frantic shouting from the shore. It was of course the Pope, and he summoned them to
the beach.
Upon them reaching the shore the Pope went into raptures about the rescue and said, "I give you my blessing for your brave actions. I had heard that there were some hooligan elements and secterianism,bigotry and evil people trying to divide
the glorious Celtic and Rangers, but, now I have seen with my own eyes this is not true.
I can see that your society is a truly enlightened example of cultural harmony and could serve as a model on which other peoples could follow."
He blessed them all and drove off in a cloud of dust.
As he departed, the harpoonist asked the others, "Who was that??!" "That," one answered, "was his Holiness the Pope. He is in direct contact with God and has access to all God's wisdom."
"Well," the harpoonist replied, "he knows f*ck all about shark hunting. How's that bait holding up or do we need to get another one?".
09 Oct 2011 20:05:42
What have Rangers got in common with a three pin plug?............Both are useless in Europe! ha ha!!.....Miko {Ed007's Note - I'm starting to think you might be Tim after all Miko, they are some nasty jokes.}
Tim's my alter-ego, Ed.........Miko {Ed007's Note - Don't even start with that FFS!!!}
Haha, thought that would be your response!.......Miko
09 Oct 2011 20:00:33
What's the difference between Rangers and teabags?........Teabags can stay in cups longer! Pmsl.....Miko
09 Oct 2011 19:37:55
"Can you name a former Celtic and Scotland captain whose father was Jamaican?" {Ed007's Note - :-)
Wasnt roys dad called jim? fab1 {Ed007's Note - Yeah}
None other than The Bear!......Miko {Ed007's Note - If you list every British club that has ever won a European trophy there has been at least 2 players that have played for each one and CFC.}
Roy aitken
09 Oct 2011 16:05:16
Although I hate international breaks some good seems to have come out of this one.Firstly Samaras is a confidence player so maybe scoring for Greece will help him back at Celtic, same with Mastolovecic see he had a good game for Sweden.
Also I was worried about losing players to Africa Nations Cup in January but Bangura's team (Sierra Leone) are out and Bangura's team (Kenya) look like joining them out of tournament.
Finally did you see the shift Mackhail-Smith put in for Scotland, all energy and pace? I have seen him a few times for Brighton and he looks the part, Celtic were supposed to be trailing him, how did Brighton get him, over to you Mr Lawwell.
On subject of the board, some Celtic fans think board have given our managers enough help, well remember 2009 when if we had signed Fletcher we could have won the league, we also lost out on James McCarthy for £1.5m and look at his value now.
Even money Lennon got £10m+ well he sold about 10 players and brought in over £12m+ so he financed his own deals.This board has not helped any manager since MON. Come On You Bhoys In Green Timalloy
I know someone will pull me up, yes I meant to say Wanyama but put Bangura twice, DOH! Come On You Bhoys in Green
Timalloy
Samaras scored with a deflected shot and forgot how to celebrate a goal now he's all of a sudden class. Classic.
09 Oct 2011 15:54:09
If a club did or do bid 8mill for Ki then Celtic would be mad not to accept it. With that we could buy a goalkeeper and 2 center halfs. But I would put a sell on clause in his contract as it wouldn't surprise me if he excels in one of the bigger leagues. Scotland doesn't suit him. He plays well on big pitches when the team is playing well. When we are struggling in games when has he ever got hold of the game and got us back in it. He's never played well against rangers or in Europe. He's a bit like nackamura, world class when things are going well, non existent when you are struggling. Sell him. Invest the money in the team, the one area of the park we are not short on is center midfield.
Spot on, only plays when the game is a stroll, old firm games complete passenger, 8 ml for him , i have as much chance of the euro millions.
09 Oct 2011 15:42:40
Let's say Celtic buy this Baba Diawara in January (an unproven player/goal scorer in the SPL) who are they going to play upfront? Hooper, Stokes, Bangura, Samaras or Baba. It's a joke and what's worked the worse for Celtic this season is there defence and the fact they keep switching strikers about when they should clearly keep Stokes & Hooper together. What a messed up club
Look at Diawara's record in the much harder portugease league. Its a no brainer. Remeber out last portugease striker
David
09 Oct 2011 12:39:58
Andy Johnson will be available for 2m if he does not agree a new contract with fulham! Worth a shot and can score goals?
We can't afford wages end of story
09 Oct 2011 10:43:00
Good Morning Ed007, just reading some of the negative posts from last night. Firstly about our manager Lennon, last year we were all behind him and even praised his tactics especially in 2-0 game at Ibrox, suddenly he is a poor tactictian over a couple of defeats. Yes he has made poor decisions what manager has not? Also remember our injury list just seems to get longer and longer, and to our important players, once they are all back watch us go.
I agree we need to start winning and winning fast, but now is not time to panic. Most Celtic fans feel board has not really supported Lennon in the transfer market, they are more interested in keeping a good balance sheet, but Lawwell and co must start helping our team more. Last night in pub we were talking about Dermot Desmond increasing his wealth, could he not give the club a loan of say £10m (petty cash to him) on more favourable terms than any bank, and to be paid back over longer term.
Most Celtic fans except the really younger ones have experienced good and bad times supporting our beloved Celtic, but we are still supporters. Even if god forbid, Celtic lost 10-0 to rangers, the next day I would still be supporting Celtic, because Celtic is my club and it is in the blood.
Just look across the city at their fans, they will never ever come close to supporting a team like the Celtic supporters can with our wit and humour.
Come on you Bhoys in Green Timalloy {Ed007's Note - Good Morning Tim.}
I disagree with you on most things tim. I was down the pub last night and never seen you. Why have you stole lennys line (come on you bhoys in green)?
Stevebhoy
"steveibhoy" if you had read my posts yesterday, some bear objected to Come On You Bhoys In Green, so I said it on both sites just to annoy them LOL Timalloy
I'm trying to keep an open mind on the NL situation and why we are so poor at the moment. The one thing that annoys me a little bit is people going on about the injury list and players missing. Fair enough to a certain extent but how many big earning international players have Hearts, St Johnstone, Sion, Udinese reserves got in their team ?? Ok injuries do cause some problems with re-shuffling etc but those players in that team are or at least should be good enough to take care of that calibre of opposition
Gary
Timalloy, what time was it the Rangers fan posted complaining about (come on you bhoys in green)? cheers
Stevebhoy
09 Oct 2011 03:41:34
Ki Sung Yeung is a good young player, no getting away from it but he's never worth £8Million. I know that a foreign club was willing to pay alot for him but it's because Korea and countries like that generate alot of money through shirt sales and he would make whoever he's sold to some money back. He isn't a special player tough, he doesn't score goals or the free-kicks he takes, majority of his passes don't come off if they are long cross field ones. He is a good player and he wants to leave Celtic and I think an English premier league club would get away with buying him for around £4million because i'm sure he'll express a desire to go to a better league and players seem to control when they leave, sadly. I'm a Rangers supporter and i'm not worried about Celtic getting any kind of good money for their players because without money we've won nearly everything to play for in Scotland in recent seasons but only being realistic, would be silly to suggest otherwise.
Why would celtic seel for £4mill when they knocked back £8mill in the summer get a grip
When did we Knock back £8m and who from? I think you are still drunk from last night. If we did get offered that in the summer do you really think we would have knocked it back?
Stevebhoy
According to the papers ruben kazan offered 8 mill for him dont know if its true or not but i doubt we would accept 4 when he cost us 2.5 and he's started showing glimpses of the potential that we bought him for
What a load of mince, we keep hearing rangers have been without money over the last few seasons. so how can rangers buy big jelly for £4m without money? and how much money have rangers spent over the the last few seasons without money? realistic your having a laugh.
09 Oct 2011 01:44:49
samaras scored against croatia a dont no wat aw the fuss is about thats him got a goal next wan will be in three month
stephenmiller1967
09 Oct 2011 01:22:16
bhoys lets get real wee lenny is ripping the heart out the team the backroom staff are just yes men and have no input into the team watch when nl tries to make subs to change the game they are all clueless this has been obvious from the early days we need rid of these imposters the NOW and try and get someone soon not to save the league as rangers are looking good under fat sally but to save our players ki hoops commons kayal the list goes on these guys dont want to play under the management as they are clueless in every dept a good manager will have these guys flying again cause lets face it guys celtic and rangers are not as big an attraction now we have the fans each week at parkhead and ibrox but no money etc and all the good players want fortunes even s#it players want a fortune SAVE OUR TEAM ......PLEASE LEAVE NEIL and take DUMB AND DUMBER with you