Celtic Banter Archive November 05 2012

 

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05 Nov 2012 23:48:25
Billy stark is the right man for the Scotland job permanently he has done a great job at u21 level and has earned his chance!i hope he gets it

Believable3 Unbelievable0

05 Nov 2012 20:54:28
A van driver used to amuse himself by scaring the **** out of every Glasgow Rangers fan he saw strutting down the road in his blue and white uniform. He would swerve as if to hit them, and at the last minute, swerve back onto the road. One day as he was driving along the road, he saw a priest hitch-hiking. He thought he would do his good deed for the day and offer the priest a lift. "Where are you going, Father?" he asked.
"I'm going to say Mass at St Joseph's church, about 2 miles down the road," came the reply.
"No problem," said the driver, "Jump in and I'll give you a lift."
The happy priest climbed into the van and they set off down the road. Suddenly the driver caught site of a H** on the pavement, and instinctively swerved as if to hit him, but just in time, remembering the priest in his van, swerved back to the road again, narrowly missing the c***. Although he was certain that he didn't hit him, however, he still heard a loud "Thud". Not understanding where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors, and, seeing nothing, said to the priest, "Sorry Father, I almost hit that Rangers Supporter walking down the road there."
"That's okay," replied the priest, "I got the ****er with the door!"

Believable7 Unbelievable6

06 Nov 2012 13:45:50
Ha ha and ED007 you sailed close to wind with that joke lol
Talking of priests, here is a true story (honest)
... Timalloy {Ed007's Note - I would get bloody hung for that Tim lmao, read the punchline line back and think about it.}

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06 Nov 2012 16:45:48
ED007 just realised the connotations of that last line, but this priest said it in innocence about getting out of trouble, but I see the other meaning. lol Timalloy {Ed007's Note - No worries Tim :-)

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05 Nov 2012 20:33:55
so wee pinochio goes tae the docs says
"hi chico hows you?"
naw its me the real wan doc listen every time ma burd gies me a blow she gets the skelfs in hur gub?
huv ye tried saunpapur?
2 weeks latur wee chico meets the doc hows you doc ?
never mind that hows the burd chico ?
who needs the burd?

Believable4 Unbelievable1

05 Nov 2012 20:29:17
here that wee veras gaun thru the menapaws ed fk sake hard work ah sade tae her last nite

AW cmoan hen ahl only pit it in fur a minute !
she sade "whit the fk am a a micro wave?
here desk serjint kin ah jist send anuthur wan tae ma pals it sellik rumours?
fkn el whit wiz that fur ya big middin?

Believable1 Unbelievable1

05 Nov 2012 18:03:00
Scottish Cup Draw :
Celtic v Inverurie Locos or Arbroath .
Tribute Act v Elgin City ,
ties scheduled for 1st December .

Believable4 Unbelievable0

Tribute act qwality young chap
pp fae the land

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05 Nov 2012 13:33:49
I wonder if the zombies will get another home game in the next round of the scottish cup,glen 1967

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Surprise surprise. home to elgin city.

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Ffs the probability of every cup game being drawn at home in all three cup competitions is minimal.
Who is auditing and checking the draw process. Who is checking for rough smooth hot cold balls? {Ed007's Note - Sounds like a job for Mrs E I would say!!}

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How many cup games have they had this season then do a 50:50 probability reduction to get the probability of say five out of five at home = 0.03125 so that's 3.125% probability of Rangers getting five draws of home games. That's a 96.875% chance of it not happening.
New Rangers under the SFA are defying national lottery chances of winning lol.

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Nice one ed. lol.

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Hawl you !

If it was up to me I fancied a wee trip to Firhill and Partick Thistle..

C'mon there's no conspiracy, the teams Celtic & Rangers are playing should make a wee bit of money. Paradise & ibrox hold a lot more and the gate money is halved. Mrs E

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Aye mrs e likes tae draw hur ain baws (oan the windaes ae her flat in pinky drive springy!)

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Aye mrs e cos ye wur nevur oot munns vaults wen ye wur yungur ya auld soak!
ur the firhul tavurn (the wee wedge shaped pub oan the gushet (another mrs e wurd ah sound like justin n justoot oooooooohhhhh mrs matronnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn)
here ah bettur watch case a get ed stertit(thats the side nabudy talks aboot hence the alex reid foties oan his wa')

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05 Nov 2012 18:57:35
ED007 I would like to add my congratulations to Sevco on getting yet another home draw, and also wish the chap that pulled out the Sevco ball a speedy recovery in the hospital's burns unit lol
Mrs E yes it at least gives the wee teams a bigger payout, although we all know Sevco do not like giving their money to anyone else...
I hope wee Inverurie Loco get through, the gate money would probably keep them solvent for 5 years.. Timalloy
PS as all us "well travelled tims" (cough) know "loco" in Spanish means "daft" what a draw it would have been
"Sevco dafties" versus Inverurie Loco

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Re 2) yeah dreadful and we could get a real hard one, inverurie loco at home, it's not fair.

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Just the thing Pat, a pub crawl down Maryhill Rd :-)

Are these pictures of Alex Reid as he is or Alex Reid aka Roxanne..Mrs E {Ed007's Note - You lot have got a pretty high opinion of me!}

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In drag e!
hey remebur the xmas perty? {Ed007's Note - You behave yourself tonight!}

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It was JVofH that did the draw.

Joeshmo1888

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I've been to Inverurie, I don't think it has 11 blokes for a team. Guess they play ringers from the next village.

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05 Nov 2012 09:35:27
is no one slightly concerened that we have only won 6 out of 11 league games? Dress it up how you like, but that is poor.

Believable7 Unbelievable7

Back to newco page and worry about sally

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Yesterday will neither be here nor there at the end of the season.

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I agree with o p. always told pay no attention to league table until we have all played each other.. now we have and i am not impressed. some very poor performances all season

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Top of the leauge. We all wanted a competitive leauge. We get one and all the idiots come out moaning were not winning every game easily. Spl isn't as bad as the zombies and msm make out.

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No 2 so if we all just cancel season tickets then turn up last few games at end of season then the money we pay will be neither here nor their either then ??

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05 Nov 2012 08:35:26
Hey folks,

I wanted to come on and post because I am utterly dismayed by our performance yesterday. I think our attitude in the league this year has been appaling.Aside from the St Mirren game and possibly Hearts, we have been going through the motions. Losing twelve points out of 33 available is disgraceful.Getting beat off Kilmarnock at home, letting 2-0 leads be slip and generally treating the league with contempt is acceptable because Rangers are no longer there, is completely unacceptable. Although this Celtic team have pulled off some great results in their time, there is a real problem sometimes with our mentality. For me,our dismal performances in the cups last season was a result of thinking they were only required to turn up to win and I see it again this season. There's no doubting that we will win the league, but we can't only be a team who raises their game for the Chsmpions League. These players are on thousands(money that we will never see may I add) and should be held accountable for their shoddy performances. There are players in our ranks who should never be near our team. McCourt anyone? This guy is a complete imposter- cant run, cant tackle and talk about injury prone!! James Forrest is another one. How many times is he going to be injured. This guy is another Jamie Smith(remember him) all hype and will come to nothing. Most overrated youngster at Parkhead in years. Tony Watt is the real deal though and is a ten times more exciting prospect than the latter. We have great players like Wanyama,Hooper,Commons, ledders, etc but we need to up our game on occasion. I'm really looking forward to the barca game, but ai guess I'm just a bit disgruntled because I spent travelled to Dundee with 4 hours kip and was rewarded with that performance.Mind you, it's Monday morning and I'm feeling like a cynical B! Lol.

A p***** off tim tired and rambling!!

Believable7 Unbelievable2

Some valid points but we are playing the b team most weeks in the SPL, think about the positive side and look at guys like Watt who is now getting Game time. We will win the league at a canter so cool the jets and enjoy the ride once we are out of Europe we will run away with the league

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James Forrest wasn't playing yesterday & I would rather have him play for Celtic than have our defence trying to cope with him. Mrs E

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I agree with some of your points and I was on recently about the inconsistency - even week to week - from some players.
If we were no top of the league I think there would have been more flak regarding our points total and certain results against bottom 6 clubs + throwing away leads.
We are also in a very unique situation of not knowing who our main rivals are going to be?
I detect real complacency and 'coasting' within the ranks and I hope NL stamps it out quickly and assertively or we will find it more and more difficult to gain a real winning mentality and consistancy.
Even in games where we have scored a few goals (eg:Inverness, Hearts) we seem to ease up around the hour mark and switch off. As far as Forrest is concerned there is real divided opinion and if he continues with patchy form and claiming and greetin for every decision instead of showing character and getting on with it; his confidence will disappear and he might become a Jamie Smith or Joe Miller.
I reckon also, McCourt and Rogne may well be on the way out for one reason and another and Kayal needs to be played more to assess his value to the team.

Jungle Jim

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Few decent points in there mate, the attitude hasn't been right in league all season, agree 100% bout Forrest, I dont see what the fuss is all bout either, we should have won at least one of the cups last year & in my opinion we need to win at least 2 trophys this season as any less would be unacceptable & underachieving. L1888

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I dont think the attitude was right last season either lennon was close to getting sacked got their act together turned it around but still flung the cups away the scottish cup was a sore one and even after the title was wrapped up

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It's great the way things are shaping up right now. I have no doubt we will win the league but is it not good to see everyone having a go and not sitting back aiming for 3rd place at best? Like the Zombies, every game we play is a cup final as the others try for second spot. Most competitive the SPL has been for years now that it is not 2 way traffic. That said, our players need to get a grip - losing a 2 goal advantage is just not on.

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05 Nov 2012 01:48:24
I know some of you bhoys and ghirls enjoy a flutter, so try and have one in the greatest flat race in the world on Tuesday (4am CP time). Yes it's Melbourne Cup time again, and the Europeans have some great entries this year.

My tips
- Galileo's Choice (12)
- Maluckyday (15)
- Winchester (5)

Dermot Weld to win his third cup.


Melb Bhoy

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Green moon. Is the one get on now 16/1

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Well done above, stayed well, great ride.

Melb Bhoy

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Thanks melb. Bhoy. £25 each way helps the Xmas fund was worth geting up at 4 am for

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04 Nov 2012 23:53:08
Another weekend of SPL football that proves how it is thriving without the toxicity of Rangers, The Rangers or Sevco. Great game today for the neutrals to watch and another testament to the competitiveness when everything is done above board. Ed is there anyword on the armagedon that was due when the shame died? {Ed007's Note - That was just more lies mate from the sympathy hunters.}

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There are many who believe Scottish football would be better without the toxicity and shame of both the old firm. However breaking the status quo is something we have moaned about for years, and now that we have it, it is a pleasant surprise. A break that we needed, but without a healthy Rangers Scottish football will surely be worse off, in the long run that is, but I suspect there are many who would disagree! {Ed007's Note - You must have misheard or misread it mate. It was an immediate effect and meltdown that was predicted, there was no mention of any 'long run'. Scottish football was supposedly on the verge of collapse if Rangers went into administration, then it was if they went into liquidation. It was changed then to if The Rangers couldn't weren't allowed entry into the SPL, then it was if they couldn't get into Div.1, then when The Rangers were eventually granted entry (phew!!) into the bottom tier (4th Division) of Scottish football it was imminent. I'm just glad that the people who I told not to hold their breath, didn't, a lot of people would be bluer than a drowning Smurf right now!}

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@1 here, Ed you & OP make a good point, the imminent armageddon factor was trumpeted, but mainly due to the media, as though there wasn't enough of a story, (And not forgetting Mr Green's dodgy PR spin!) However I wouldn't say Scottish football is THRIVING, nor when Rangers were in the spl! Rangers have become symbolic of the rotten state our game has fallen into and I believe ALL have taken their eye off the ball, especially the Rangers support.

Here's one, my cousin who's a die hard Tick supporter believes there's a witch hunt against Rangers! He works down south and says there's a definite political agenda regarding independence. Now he clearly sees Rangers in the wrong, but notes that sooo many other companies and clubs practice similar tax avoidance schemes, yet hardly a mention of them?

Needless to it was good to hear his unbiased point of view considering his allegiance!

Anyway good luck against Barca, have a go!

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Aye they like that patter mate..others companies using the same scheme, we don't hear about them. Why would we? We are football supporters, talking about a football team in a football league. Who would be informing us of such things to do with normal everyday businesses outside of the game. I think if you done the leg work you will find business's are being done for the same thing. And again it's widely reported that Rangers didnt implement them the way they were shown how to so therein lies another problem. The witch hunt patter is desperate.

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@3 The witch hunt patter is desperate?

Hey pal my cousin was a season ticket holder at Parkhead for longer than I can remember before moving south, and it was him that said it! And he was saying it from what he observed living down there. And unlike you he is a very smart guy, and a true Celt, his opinion is generally well respected by all who know him. Have you ever lived in England? Do you even remember things like the poll tax? Its not the first time Scotland has been USED as a testing ground. But hey Rangers made themselves easy pickings for such a test case, that was never disputed! So show your own support some respect! As for me I'm a Gers fan, now I can understand you thinking that that's desperate!

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