Celtic Banter Archive February 03 2012

03 Feb 2012 21:32:48
fairy tales can cum true when ye sine oan the bru n yer giro cums,,,,,,, ah fur the auld days.................

Pat here is one for you tell the morra doon the Sari heid
Sherlock Holmes expects the dead womans body and notices a wee cut on her bottom. Watson asks if he knows what she died of Sherlock says "she was poisoned" astonished Watson asks how he came to that conclusion "elementary my dear Watson, see that wee cut there, he gave her Arse a nick LOL Timalloy

Nope.. Pish.

03 Feb 2012 20:42:37
More Timalloy's Pearls of Wisdom

Ok can anyone tell me the speed of DARK?
How come Psychics have to ask your Name?
If a word is Misspelled in a dictionary, is it Misspelled
and if it Misspelled, how would we Know?
Why are they called Stands, when they are made for Sitting?
Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected, expected!
Why do Overlook and Oversee mean different things?
If something goes without saying, why do people STILL say it?
If Electricity comes from electrons, where does Morality come from? - Morons?
How is it possible to have a CIVIL war?

Timalloy (dictionary corner)

Too rite ma wee alloy boay ah wiz in the village inn in torrance wan nite n thur wiz ah psycic nite oan wae aboot 50 irate wumen waitin fur the acts tae show up then the wee jimmy krankie lookalike fae behind the baur announsed " sorry evryboady bit the psykicks huv been held up in traffic fae springburn" to which yours truly papped back ,
" 2 things hen
1. did they no see that cumin?
2. psykicks fae springburn, kin they no look oot the windae of a nite time?
that was a true joke timbo still creases me up mate............pp fae jist next tae springburn...
ye wid waant tae creep up behind wan in the daurk n slap um wae a bat n say " how cum ye nevur seen that smart arse ?"

If you weren't a Celtic fan you'd be smart enough to answer these stupid questions. And as for the guy that commented about the Torrance inn.. Your patter is rotten, you try n sound gem But just sound stupid, exspecially when yer fae a poxy joke ae shceme like Torrance mate.

You must be new to this site.The last post is from wee pat and if you viewed the site before then you would know he is a regular poster and you my friend are a total d**k.

Jungle Bhoy.

I know what a total dick, if you cant laught at a joke on a banter page why are yo even looking, obvoiusly a bitter dark sider going by his depressive nature.

03 Feb 2012 19:31:43
whits the only animul thit hiz an a**ehole in the middle ae its back????????
a polis hoarse
ya beuty!!

03 Feb 2012 19:08:23
Bhoys/Ghirls and Ostiches I give you all
Mr Craig Whyte's new album called
And the Operator said Twenty Cents More!

Shame and Scandal
I'm on a Boat
Union of the Snake
Oh What a Circus
One More Time
Take it to the Limit
Make the World go Away
Riding the Storm Out
Can't Buy Me Love
Who will you Run To
Two Tickets to PARADISE

and finally the single off the album which Craig addresses to Rangers fans everywhere.....

FAIRY TALES DO COME TRUE,
IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU!!

Album costs £12.99 of which Mr Whyte PROMISES!
that at least 2pence of every sale will go towards helping the club out of it's financial straits.

More details from Timalloy Promotions

Timalloy

quality mate
why not make it a double CD

Promised you a miracle- Simple Minds
Highway to Hell---AC/DC
I cant explain ---The Who
Epitaph---Badly Drawn Boy
Charmless Man--Blur
Dragging me Down--Inspiral Carpets
Unsafe Building -- The Alarm
Its all over now-- Rod Stewart
Youre the one for me fatty--Morrissey
Boulevard of broken dreams --Green Day

Bhaldrick

Bhaldrick lets give Craigie boy a fright and say buy one get one free, he has just LOST half his money AGAIN ha ha LOL Timalloy

Haha quality mate. U forgot 4 in a row but?

This charmless man, morrisey
Terry tim

Hes got 99 Problems but the pitch aint one.

Jungle Bhoy.

03 Feb 2012 18:48:00
Fears that Sally had quit Ibrox after he was filmed rushing away with a look of consternation and anguish on his pained, round coupon were tonight dispelled as it was revealed that he had rushed away to A&E at The Southern General in agony.
Surgeons - after a lengthy painfull procedure - managed to remove Rahman Bardwaj who had crawled - just a wee bit too far - up his rectum.
Doctors are fairly confident of a recovery although they fear a relapse is entirely possible as there are other Ger-nalists who would gladly lodge themselves in his colon for sanctuary during this cold spell.


Jungle Jim

03 Feb 2012 18:40:15
hey ed ah wiz up it the sherif the other day n ah heard wan guy say tae the judge " if a dogs tail is still waggin how kin that be rape"
n he hiz a point when ye think aboot it !
whit .......whit,

Just spat half an effin brew on my keyboard lol.

Cheers wee Pat.

Shaunybhoy

03 Feb 2012 17:55:23
how truly ironic if the goons go bust,to think the last signing they made was a guy called CELIK.couldnt make stuff like that up,artybhoy

03 Feb 2012 17:41:28
here ed they 2 boays thit nocked ma door wan sade" n the lord made it rain fur 40 days n 40 nites" ah sade aye ah hid a hoaliday like that wance son , ah think it wiz ardrossan '68

03 Feb 2012 17:37:56
Well all you's son's of the holy 1, I am on today 2 wait for it praise your manager for his comments on the article in the sun about thommo & shagger as I have said for long enough the media in this country stir up more hate than any of the fans do, yes we have bampots on both sides who let our clubs down but this had 2 be the worst story I have ever read someone from celtic & RANGERS having a drink together, f*** me were 74 people not killed in a riot the other day at a game but this story was on the front page & 2 your managers credit he said the story was disgusting, the bit I didn't get was why would your manager would be fuming & not ours the reason I think is just to stir up a wee bit of hatred towards your manager again which is disgusting. anyway enjoy your gloating just now what goes around comes around
NTYABOW

Crakin post m8

Er NTYABOW, I am cutting you some slack being an ostrich, but as our ED007 says "irony" has not yet reached as far as Ibrokes but "what goes around comes around" have a WEE THINK about how that applies more to YOUR club ha ha LOL Timalloy

Dear Timalloy when do you find the time 2 go 2 your nephews house 2 read the RANGERS news (thats correct bhoys dear tim reads our monthly mag) because you are either on our page or this page 24/7 & please don't cut me any slack as I don't think about anything you say anyway the same as your own fans on this page can't be arsed with you either
NTYABOW

NTYABOW great comeback I am beaten! ha ha
Er where do you think I get my toilet paper from? LOL Timalloy

03 Feb 2012 17:36:10
After a very intersting week in Scottish football and that windy finally getting shut, we have a real tester tomorrow (at a sh1t time too) up at Inverness!
This is a game that we need to dig deep and get a result, as we all know from previous seasons this is no easy place to go. But I honestly think we are too strong fir them and it will show get at them right from the k.o try and get early goal cos I gaurantee u they'll be up for it bhoys.
CB HH

03 Feb 2012 17:28:26
here ed 2 suits came tae ma door last niten sade "
I want to talk to you about jesus"
ah sade awrite awrite ,whits he dun noo?????

03 Feb 2012 17:24:01
rite ed ye herd it here furst see the wee burd fae " the singin kettle" shes up the spout...
hee haw ya bams

03 Feb 2012 15:49:26
‎10 facts you may not know about super human Celt Victor Wanyama:-

1. Superman goes to bed wearing Victor Wanyama pyjamas.
2. Victor Wanyama can un-scramble scrambled egg.
3. When Neil Armstrong landed on the moon he was greeted by
Victor Wanyama.
4. The bible was originally titled "Victor Wanyama & friends."
5. Victor Wanyama can draw a perfect circle with a ruler.
6. Victor Wanyama can cut through a knife with hot butter.
7. When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he already had a missed call from Victor Wanyama.
8. Somewhere under China there's a label that says "made by Victor Wanyama."
9. Horses are hung like Victor Wanyama.
10. Victor Wanyama's daughter lost her virginity, Victor got it back.
HAIL HAIL

Just pissed mah breeks funny as lol hobbybhoy

03 Feb 2012 15:22:46
As a Celtic fan who loves the club I would just like to tell the Celtic support to be calm as all this 'we're going to do this' might come back and bite us in the ass!I for one doesn't think this will be easy and think rangers are capable of catching us for they have been over the course the past 3 seasons were we have buckled under the pressure! Let's just cheer the bhoys right to the end win lose or draw for we are Celtic supporters faithful through and through over and over we will follow you.hail hail rusty the tim

Of course we have to focus on our own season as we have won nothing yet and we have had 3 barren SPL title years.
It is distracting, what is going on over there and if anything it will hinder us if we do not concentrate on what we do as opposed to what they can't etc.
The difference is only a point at present with a lot of games, referee errors, more 'revelations', injuries/suspensions. So keep on winning Bhoys and keep your eye on the prize - not the press.


Jungle Jim

03 Feb 2012 13:51:59
here ed its wiznae easy growin in up in ma famuly ma da wiz irish n ma maw wiz iranian when we went oor hoalidays we spent 4 days in fkn customs.
here ed wee tommy sheridans been tellin me thit up in casle huntly his joab durin the day wiz helpin the passingurs wae thur luggage it DUNDEE bus stashun , bit oan the furst day he goat sacked when he sade tae an auld burd ,
" WANT YIR HOLEDOLL"
EFTER THaT THEY MOVED HIM BACK TAE CLEANIN THE TOILITS IT THE CASSUL,
HEE HAW

I've said it before and I'll say it again, rangers site they are all CRYING, while over here we have SINGING AND DANCING (wee pat you are a STAR!) LOL Timalloy

03 Feb 2012 13:31:46
Hi Ed not a rumour either but just a thought if rangers want to challenge there case with hmrc do you think theyl be asking donald findlay to push for legal aid and make us the good public pay for it haha paddybhoy

03 Feb 2012 13:23:31
rite pikture this sinario,
thurs me wee sally, sitting in the sarry rite last nite,
when in walks wee craigo frozen tae the marra wae nae soaks oan !!so ah says" craigo ower here son ma roond sit oan yer bahookie,"
wee sally says" fk sake whytie ah no thurs no alot a dough flyin aboot bit nae soaks"
craigo pipes up" ah no ah no, sally its no that son listen up, am in the hoose bored s**tless so ah shouts thru tae the wife " JIM darlin, wee sunny alooky wiz jist oan the rag n bone ( ARRY REDNAPPER) n says that hes gonnae dae ah delivury doon the gallagate n wid ah like a lift oan the back ae hiz domino pitza moped, thit he uses tae make up the dough thit he's payin us , so whit dae ye say lushous lips?"
so jim shouts thru" aye away ye go ya wee turd am waashin aw the strips oanywaey, bit bring me back a fishsupper n a kwarter botul rite"
" cheers hen bit where did ye pit ma shoes?"
" thuir in the cubbard under the stairs hunny!"
so wee craigo thinks fck that thats where that we lassie lives oot ae the tax advert oan the telly!
" so here ah um boays, so get the mick jaggers in,sorry sally ,ah promised tae never say that name agane"
so its back tae you fae wee pat n his cronies

All is well with the Tim world, top of the league, in one cup final and hopefully take care of ICT tomorrow, bears in turmoil arguing among themselves and now Wee Pat is back with his unique take on life, can life get any better?
LOL Timalloy

Wee Pat

feckn hilarious

when do your world tour tickets go on sale ? the funniest Tim since Billy Connolly

Bhaldrick

If, and when, Scotland gains independance, Posso Pat for El Presidente.
The Real KB {Ed007's Note - Wee Pat, with Tommy Sheridan as deputy. I would gladly make sure Gail Sheridan wasn't lonely while those two were on 'offishul' business.}

Gail sheridan??you having a laugh??stupid big smug coupon.no thanks {Ed007's Note - If you seen some of my past conquests, Gail looks like Beyonce compared to them!!}

03 Feb 2012 06:09:39
More lies from over at cash converters Jellypish forced a move according to the Shyte night. Jellypish says that if they wanted him to stay he would. There is nothing wrong with wanting to go to a better league. Quote from Jellypish I have never seen the president of Rangers.

Iknow who I would believe.

Ian

True, with the daily ranger claiming it was them that gave them carlos "the pit bull"?
Something doesn't add up here, they had him for two weeks. I can't see them saying to hibs here's a guy he's pretty good we can afford him? Nope not a chance
Tt88

"Jellypish" .. "Shyte knight" haha aw mate your patter is pure gash! We are the people and we will win this league still and you will all be a laughin stock. Again!. {Ed007's Note - Have you been working on that all morning? I hope you have time over the weekend to catch up with the school work you have missed. Education is such a precious thing, so calm your frustration and try to concentrate on that at least during school days.}

Your obv not clever enough to work out how a story involving two ppl splits to become two sided are you?

Your obv not very clever at reading posts If you look you will see I said that I know who I would believe. The lies that are coming from cash convertor.


Ian

Ed007:do you think they understand its this "wee arrra peeepple" attitude thats makes them so hated? i hope their global brand strategy takes this into account. green jhedi