Celtic Banter Archive August 26 2011

26 Aug 2011 21:42:26
rite ed this is the situ rite
ma wee pal isobel is oan the bell,(hey thats a wee rime ed) she wurks fur the "crisis loan sekshun ae the DSS rite" so shes tellin me she gets this call the othir day (we ur hivin a wee refreshmint in the Bruthirs in posso (dont ask ah think thur surnamis wiz grim)
anywaey she sed she took a call last nite n' this is how it went......................................,
"hello your thru tae the north glesga centur fur joab seekurs allowince how kin ah help ye the nite?"
"hello ma names alistair......
"ok alistair my names isobel,...........,
its jist thit we huvnae goat any munnie........,
ok alistair, " hav you got a partner?.........
"aye ,carling "............,
ok aluistaer,your partner is cauld carling< are you married?.................
"tae carlin?,
naw thats wur bakurs"..........
"yir bakurs, are you in a minoguemous relashunship?
"naw ah dont evun like Kylie?
"ally kin ah call you ally,ally"?
"aye"
"its just thut ah cannae get your reasun fur a crisis loan unles yir strait wae me"
"oh wur aw strait hen, awrite mibbe the tax mans a wee bit late, but thurs nae jiggury pokiry here ma doll"
" ally dont coll me doll,rite alistair what is this crisis loan for?
"CRISIS WHIT CRISIS?"
"Is it for a frij or maybe your ovun hiz blown up,or mibbee yir partnir hiz ran aff wae yir munnie?"
"whit carlin?"
"listun up ally, whit iz the munny fur?"
"its cos wuv gaun oot a cup"
"whit,?yiv gaun oot a cup ,whit the f--k ur ye a f'kin egg?

"Listun doll wur despaurit,"
"so am ah ally bit am no the wan pleedin oan the fone, so kut tae the chase"
"we need monie tae replase the munnie thit we nevur hid in the furst place"
" listun sun am gettin up tae high do here..........,
aw WAIT A MINUTE HERE is this wee used tae be "supir ally,noo oan the supir lagir?
"aye hen kin ye help us oot, "
"ahm sayin the same iz ah sed tae PETER LAWLISS,get tae"..............
ye think youve goat probs ma best pals "wee posso pat",how much diz that say aboot me, evury time we go fur a swally he sells me sumfin,ur ah hiv tae clean his munkees arses.( fone dooooooon)........................
"hello callir its pissed aff isobel here how kin ah annoy yi?
"hello my names tim but dim....hello?....hello?.....hello?...
"ally I think shes sussed us"

Pps,did ye see wee sallys face when wee brado "rescued hur" fae the crush"( aye tae get away) ally wiz tryin tae get up tae the barras tae get the dvd
pp

Ha ha pure ded brilliant pat. hail hail Timalloy you have cheered us bhoys up after yesterday. Wee Pat for POPE

26 Aug 2011 19:56:07
Ed007, given that there is a possiblity we could play Ahletico Madrid again if we get reinstated, I thought about semi final of European Cup in 1974 when they kicked us all over Parkhead.
Their manager was Juan Carlos Lorenzo and he believed in "disrupting opponents game" well in the first leg at Celtic Park he played 4 Argentine players and 3 got sent off, Ayala, Diaz and Quique and 7 other outfield players were booked.
It was reported all over europe as one of the worst cases of cynical fouling the tournament had ever witnessed.
My father used to take me to all the big european games and I loved the atmosphere.We were always in the old jungle. But Madrid were animals. I have heard fans on here talk about "gutless" "spineless" regarding some Celtic players during thursday's game. Well in this game wee Jinky Johnstone was kicked black and blue by practically the whole Athletico team, because of weak refereeing, but the wee man just picked himself up and ran at them again and again. THAT took true GUTS. Wee Jimmy was a great footballer but he was also one of the bravest footballers I have ever seen. Hail hail Timalloy {Ed007's Note - Bit before my time Tim mate, I was only born in 1974! I've seen the footage though.}

Haha, the roles may be reversed this time around Tim....Miko

Hey Miko, good to hear from you again.
Wee Pat thank you for your take on Thursday's game, your humour has cheered me up. hail hail Timalloy

Ed007, going by your "bond" movies I took you to be about 90 LOL Timalloy {Ed007's Note - No, I just had a rough milk round when I was younger ;-)

Hey Ed007, why dont you ask the bhoys on here about their memories of the jungle. One of the funniest sights I ever saw was Archie McPherson walking on the walkway above the jungle to the television gantry, with a european tv colleague to broadcast that evening's european game to Sportscene, anyway Archie stopped midway along the gantry and was obviously explaining about the jungle to his colleague, when 20,000 jungleites started chanting "Archie, Archie get tae f..k" ha ha priceless, no wonder he was a big bear fan LOL Timalloy {Ed007's Note - My families season tickets have always been for the Main (East) stand Tim, but I was in the The Jungle a few times as I got older. It was a great atmosphere, remember the guy that stood at the front and watched the crowd instead of the game???}

Ha ha Ed007, yes I do remember some guy watching the crowd, these days its polis with cameras But my biggest memory is having to go to toilet BEFORE going into jungle, because of the crowd you never got near it, or if you were desperate you pushed your way through but you had hee haw chance of getting back to where your mates where. Timalloy {Ed007's Note - Was there even toilets in it!!! ;-)

Aye they wur called "PORTALOOS"
ur tennent lagir cans tae you n me
the good auld days eh ed {Ed007's Note - LOL}

In those days you took your carry out in with you, imagine that today? The jungle on big european nights was all smoky, but it all lent to the brilliant atmosphere.When Celtic scored 10,000 of you all swayed and were lifted off your feet and were carried 30 feet away. Health and safety? nobody cared we were beating Benfica and we thought european adventures (and winning) was an annual event. "Feed the Bear" and "we've got Jimmy, Jimmy, Johnstone on the wing" was sung all over the jungle. Happy days. Timalloy {Ed007's Note - I remember one night playing Notts Forest (I think) in the early 80s, I was about 9/10, my dad never drank and this guy turned and said to him 'Ye want a drink a' this big man?', my dad said 'No mate, you're allright' so the guy said to me 'Whit about you son?' lmao I think it was Scotmac(??) the stuff was called, my dad politely refused on my behalf and then made it clear to me that my arse would be 'scudded' if my mammy ever caught a whiff of drink off me from being at the football. Great times Tim, getting me misty eyed over my dad here now!!}

Pat, nervous fan in Rangers end as they are getting beaten 3-0 (again) in the 1980's., when all the bottles and cans start flying. anyway, the guy next to him sees how nervous he is and says "look pal, I believe in fate, if a bottle or can has your name on it you'll get it, so stop worrying" nervous guy says "that's all right for you to say but my name is MCEWAN LOL Timalloy

But Ed007, is that not the great thing about football, it evokes so many memories, and where else would big, macho, glasgow males hug each other but at a football game? And pass round half drunk cans of beer to total strangers.
Timalloy {Ed007's Note - Yeah it does that mate ;-)

All this talk of years gone by. I remember in the mid 80s, we were going to Aston Villa away, my old man driving. I think he's just finished a night shift. Anyway, my dads wardrobe was a thing to behold. He never chucked owt out, so he had clobber from the early 60's. Anyway this day, he turns out in skintight deep blue jeans and suede chelsea boots. Now this was the mid 80s as I say, loose flared jeans and trainers So we were walking around Villa park, and all the scousers looking at us. We had to do one over the other side of the road from my dad. Every body was shouting 'cool man', 'right on' and singing Beatles songs to him. I have never laughed as much in my life. Thing was, he didn't give a ****.
Aww great.
The Real KB {Ed007's Note - Brilliant!!}

Ed i stood in the jungle many a time - tommy burns last game v ajax black nike boots wi yellow swoosh comin right at me being a short arse an still young ish too a big arm flew over ma head grabbed the boot from nearly ma finger tips.gutted . all the singing starting at the back wall,bhoys gate wi guys stooping down to get in while they could hardly talk(ful a wine)remember ma mate dragging me away while shouting at gerry mcnee stood on top of stv lorry behind jungle,then watching gerry creaney fall over his own feet against hearts at CP, good times lol, the centenary year when crowd walked round park into the gap between dundee fans , 50,000 ma arse.

ktf davybhoy {Ed007's Note - Everyone who experienced the Jungle or any other terrace has loads of stories Davy. Never Mind Crainey falling over his own feet, what about that shed??? It was like something from a school photograph!}

26 Aug 2011 18:58:55
{Ed007's Note - Wee Pats take on the Euro exits is in the CFC News Section.}

26 Aug 2011 18:41:11
Im getting sick to **** of abody going on about 'finances'. Do sion have more 'finances' than us? What does English teams having more money have to do with us not beating a Swiss team? We lost because the players bottled it and didn't look interested... Fact I cannot believe a striker and cb havent been brought in yet. Celtic arent a 'poor' club with no money. The board are fascinated with showing abody we have no debt so surely we can spend a little to greatly improve the team. Not asking alot. If Rangers can spend 4m on Jealvic when they had no money then why cant we?

Jamie

Switzerland is a country full of wealthy people, the difference is the owner is bankrolling the club and they are spending decent sums of money on players and wages. They also have plans to develop their stadium. If our owner wanted to invest his own money then we could compete but the bottom line is Swiss football is probably a better standard than ours. Their national team has qualified for the last 2 World Cups and the last 2 euro championships. Scotland haven't done anything for years.

Mark

26 Aug 2011 15:17:09
Calling wee Pat, Calling wee Pat, your team needs you, WE need you, come and cheer us up with your patter. hail hail Timalloy

26 Aug 2011 14:05:14
{Ed007's Note - A friend of mine has re-wrote a song/poem and it is in the CFC News section, The Tims They Are A Changing}

26 Aug 2011 13:38:35
first time poster. Neil lennon is on drugs if he thinks we played well last night, the player were not playing for the club the jersey or thwe fans. when martin o'neil was manager the board invested money in players a look how well we done.
The board needs to wake up and invest in players that we need and soon or celtic will become even more of a laughing stock in the footballing world.
european football will so become a thing of the past for scottish teams if we dont act now.

RIP SCOTTISH FOOTBALL

In lennon i use to trust
hope he proves me wrong {Ed007's Note - Welcome to the site.}

For having 10 men for 90mins 7 men really because ki brown and sammy didn't kick their on arses all night, from that point of view yes they did well with 7 men.
MG69

26 Aug 2011 13:22:34
A huge part of the problem for the Old Firm is the lack of competition in Scotland. Yes, if Rangers 'demolish' (as one post on the Rangers site put it) Aberdeen, it might make the fans feel better but regular thrashings of poor sides only papers over the cracks. It will not make any reparations as far as Europe is concerned.

The whole of Scottish football is in the mire, highlighted for all to see by the woeful performances by the Old Firm in Europe. Old Firm fans need to look beyond the SPL if they don't want to feel the way they do after last night again. If the players have it too easy in the SPL, they will not be prepared for the step-up in European games - yes, I know there are occasional shock results and tricky matches but Old Firm players don't need to play to the best of their ability week in, week out. In short, they aren't tested and it only becomes apparent that in Europe, especially for those players who look great in a poor league.

Furthermore, any good young Scottish players are not being fully tested which has an adverse effect on the national team - I know some Old Firm fans don't bother about this but many others do and the Old Firm is part of the problem - and suffering because of it big time - so has to be part of the solution.

I don't claim to have any answers as to how the situation can be redeemed (summer football?; a larger top division; a better TV deal [somehow]?; better distribution of the money?) but something has to be done or Scottish teams will end up having to qualify for Europe a year in advance.

A concerned football fan

The league setup in this country has to change in order for us to flourish as a footballing nation once again. Also our politicians have to take action, and not only for "summits" regarding old firm games

The SFA have to take action to make sure our kids are out plaing football in the streets.....not on there X-Box's

We should place 5 a side pitches where kids can use them freely, open gym halls to kids at nights/weekends, not overcharge groups for the use of football pitches etc

In my lifetime Scotland played in world cups, our supporters won awards at European Championships and our Teams WON European trophies. So i emulated them in the streets, my backgarden or local parks.

Where is the pride in our great nation?

DazzaBhoy

26 Aug 2011 11:42:32
everyone is goin on about last night bein a disgrace, but it's not just about last night. had we won last night it wud have papered over the cracks, the vast majority of supporters can see it nearly every week, the team on the park is not good enough. there is some quality there, but not enough of it. we keep buying in mediocre foreign players such as majstorovic, samaras for example who are not good enough. our captain scott brown should never been in that team, he does not contribute anything to the team at all and we should not be looking to reward this guy with a bumper contract, he should be out the door along with the likes of maloney, cha, majstorovic, loovens, samaras. i fear the worst this season if we don't improve the squad before the transfer window, and in saying improve the squad that doesnae mean adding a few players just for the sake of it, they need to be better than what is there and be able to make a difference to the first team. centre back and striker main priorities with a creative player to play out wide right and get shot a brown.

26 Aug 2011 10:01:06
This morning over a hundred thousand fans are reflecting with a mixture of rage, embarrassment, sorrow, disbelief and defiance the Board can pat themselves on the back smugly with a clear conscience that we are financially under control. But for how long?? At this rate of demise of CFC
Many clubs have Billionaire owners or Directors who actually invest with their cash AND their hearts to assist their clubs to be the best they can be.
We have a 'Who's who' of potential investors who could make a big difference to our future but in the mean time we pay very overpaid pretenders to underachieve on an ongoing basis. Why??


Jinky Fan

26 Aug 2011 09:14:25
Wel done to the other hoops,shamrock rovers for making history

26 Aug 2011 03:48:52
First time iv written but avid reader and fan and totally gutted Why dont we just close the door on scottish footy the only thing keeping us alive is the national team. I think its also harsh to give NL the blame cause if we had 11 could have been much different He f****d up in the first leg with team/formation but he done us proud last season and also found a few gems Gutted but value you guys opinions and eds. We will RAIN AGAIN.....

26 Aug 2011 00:34:30
i'm not going to blame Majstorovic he had to make the tackle . before hindsight if he n ever made the tackle and they scored he would have taken pelters.

in a nut shell we just aint good enough .
I Know everyone jump on me but we will never progress in europe under Lennon . he may know how to play against scottish teams but every time we play a must win game we always fall short . then for lennon to come out and say we were fantastic tonight just puzzles me.

Our marking is poor , we give attacking teams to much time on the ball and to much space , we never close down fast enough , we sit too deep and let teams press us .

we talk about emilo , kayal & hooper being good signing's but they are playing in a declining league . i think hooper took the world record for off-sides tonight off kenny miller.

i hope sion stay in the europa league as we will be embaressed playing there under Lennon.

Everyone can come on and have a go at me but look at all our important matches under lennon . game's that really matter we have been left wanting .
we may have beat motherwell in the final but was no big game.

Dont be ridiculous Them scoring 1st didnt make any difference, we wud still have only had to score once. Let the guy go thru, Forster mite make the save, if not and they score our game plan hasnt changed. Be sensible.

Drew

I'm not going to blame Majstorovic?? Are you mad ? Why did he have to make that tackle Majstorovic got caught out then took the guy out from behind HE'S TO BLAME Yes I shouted ed