Celtic Banter Archive March 22 2012

22 Mar 2012 23:56:30
"Aww how sweet guys. Please remember my invite to any weddings... ~ Mrs E"
That best be aimed at Ed and Pat and not me ;-) Who'd have thought that after coming on here to talk football we've resorted to this. Lol.
JFT96
Smithy {Ed007's Note - This is quite classy for on here Smithy, it can get worse very quickly. If you ask nicely you might get invited up for Mrs E's 60th which is due shortly I have heard.}

Haha Smithy i can see wee pat and ooor Ed doon tha barras plottin and schemeing awa sellin their top quality medical products. Sounds like a match made in heaven :)

Evinguu {Ed007's Note - SSsshhhh!!! :-)

Haha come on Ed we all know this injury of yours is just a ploy to get the stock of painkllers and other general medical goods up before embarking on a mini market empire lol. Remember us plebs when you hit the big time but i will not partake in any black market kidney sales! lol

or is it you and pat that are the beneficiaries of this £100 million investment from glaxsosmithklein however you spell their name (think its them)

Evinguu {Ed007's Note - We mortgaged Wee Pat's next 30years of Giro's with a company called BeerTokenus to fund that investment. Wee Vera is looking into whether it is a legallly binding contract with them, if it's not then we have cracked a proverbial egg here and should make a tidy profit without actually doing anything except dupe few people that we don't really give a sh1t about.}

Here ed av jist came up wae acunning plan how dae we no go doon the barass n sell sum hooky gear,like prosthetick erums n legs, n mibbee a heed ur 3 ? you cood be ma modul like ah before n eftur type thing, n we cood sell that hooky viagura thit ye tried oan big monie pinnie,wit dae ye say ed??
here huv ye stul goat that stauner,thats 3 weeks noo?
must be awkwurd gettin oan abus n stuff,n gaun tae the chapul,if ah cood jist cum up wae an aunty doat, mmmmmmmmm,leev it way me ed

Ahh very srewd business model there Ed. Taken from the school of Whyte by anychance? youl make a mint !!

Evinguu {Ed007's Note - It was a guy in the Sarry that told Wee Pat about getting a loan. He had done it not long ago and is looking to walk away to Monaco with a tidy profit for his £1 investment. I don't know if Pat got his name though :-) We took the guy that does the court round up in the Hamilton Advertiser for a kebab (non-succulent lamb) and a bottle of Tonic to get him onside and write nice articles about us and say how rich we are, hopefully the publicity will be enough to give us time to get our money stashed out the way.}

Plus wev'e got a crisis loan tae " fund future invest mint tae"
n wee vera's been wurkin hur arse aff "literuly!,
the wee soul came in last nite it 2 in the mournin wae £12.50,so ah says whit dirty basturd gave you 50 pence,she sade they aw did, bless hur,( shes gaun tae see ma big pal sammy the sans blastur fur a wee makeowur this mournin,(its the least ah cood dae),so wur jist waitin tae see if oor bid wiz sucksess fil fingurs crossed.............

Ahh Ed a watertight plan eh and all above board by the sounds of it. I take it you have promised the other stakeholders like BeerTokenus for example that there is x amount available in a lawyers acoc**t for R&D?

I hope you have got the BeerTokenus deal in such away that it becomes the D&P who should pick up the bill should it all go tits up?

Maybe just maybe you guys should take this money and invest in Rangers aswell? just a thought, i mean how could it possibly go wrong using a plan like that?

Evinguu {Ed007's Note - We thought about that but our financial advisor at the time, Scunner Campbell Ogilvy (from TV shows Supergran and The Saint) said it wouldn't be a wise move. He did try to tap us out our EBT (Employee's Buckfast Trust), asked for 6 bottles and said he would pay it back in the 'near future'. Sounded a bit dodgy to me though, so we hunted him. He went to work for the British Heart (of Midlothian) Foundation, he got a bit mixed up with his EBT's and ECG's I think.}

22 Mar 2012 23:35:48
Lol Ed, she also told me about your not normal obsession with James Mccarthy!
"You mean this isn't the Gaydar Celts site ?
Ah Smithy, don't bring your troubles on here. This is a little oasis of humour, sarcasm and Glaswegian gang warfare.
Let's keep it that way. Lol.
The Real KB"
Not sure what you mean there mate, but I think it says more about you and you're search history than it does me ;-)
Anyways back to Scottsh gangster talk...... Where's Timalloy when you need him. Lol.
JFT96
Smithy {Ed007's Note - You leave Seamus out of this, that Bhoy will be a star!! Hopefully it is at Man Utd. We missed the boat on that one, I would have loved to have seen him at CFC. A young boy shouldn't be booed because of the country he chooses to represent.}

Ah herd thit wee tim alloy is daen a 24 hoor lie in fur steelin the gates it minty perk!( now nown izshagaholic perk)
am gaun up tae the sherif this mournin tae see um,bit its no tae bail hum oot its tae see if ah kin use hiz motur while heez in ther, iz av goat sum legs tae pik up fae
grannyslapurs stadium doon guvin,ahl keep ye poastit ed,if you see wee timbo before ah dae tell um undur nae sircumstansis tae drive that motur speshuly wae the wheels bein aff (tempo of course),oh n the enjin tae, that mite take a wee bit longur tae get bak,iz av selt it tae the strathy polis last nite,wan ae thur pandas gave me a munkie fur it,

22 Mar 2012 23:00:59
I had a great time for 77 minutes Real KB. I was about 4 rows above the crossbar to the right and had a great view, and it was a very good atmesphere. The way we collapsed was nothing short of embarassing though, the way the heads dropped was very worrying. Another thing that pissed me off was that Aurelio was on the bench, why not give that place to Sterling or Suso? Its madness. I was furious last night but I've recovered now. I got there early and had a nice time looking around and having a bit of banter, its what away days are all about.
JFT96
Smithy {Ed007's Note - If you two want to meet up to go for a windy walk or that I will pass your e-mail addys onto each other :-)

You mean this isn't the Gaydar Celts site ?
Ah Smithy, don't bring your troubles on here. This is a little oasis of humour, sarcasm and Glaswegian gang warfare.
Let's keep it that way. Lol.
The Real KB

22 Mar 2012 19:47:47
just looking at our wee blue friends page there and a point made me think somethig i thought a while ago.

Rangers are suspended from selling shres. Noqw given that whyte owns roughly 85% of these how do they sell the club?

Shares can only be traded internallyto an existing shareholder. So how does anyone get a hold of these shares??

Evinguu {Ed007's Note - Just off the top of my head I think the fact they are in administration allows the share transfer to make the company solvent again. It would also depend on the conditions of the suspension.}

It was Whyte who suspended trading in shares prior to Rangers going into administration, although if he hadn't done so the administrators would have done this.

Was this also part of his plan?

22 Mar 2012 19:24:08
ED007 came across a wonderful cartoon parody on youtube, but it is naughty if you cannot put up link then please just ask bhoys to punch in on youtube "explaining debt to a h.n!
LOL Timalloy
youtu.be/H8x_59EjZOs

Yes funny , should also have a ook at the day the rangers died by braybhoy , the songs ok but the pictures he has put to the words are superb, billybhoy

22 Mar 2012 18:56:28
Ref: "you won't find us tossing coins onto the pitch"....
Yes oh un named bear, but that is because all the Rangers players would be scrambling to pick up money to make up their WAGES!
LOL Timalloy
PS see your RFF fund is going well, what total now oh yes £120k... wee message to all Rangers fans .. MUST DO BETTER
PPS see tickets for your "charity" (haha game) are selling well 18000 sold! boy you all are so "loyal"
Our own Thai Tims could get that amount in CONCERT!

22 Mar 2012 16:46:47
hows you big limpy hows the "jake the peg?"
alwaeys remembur if yur doaktur (gp) desides tae cut yur leg aff if mibbee gangureen sets in,
then we (posso pats artifishul limb shoap is aewaeys opun,(exept fur sun) ,
wher wee vera wulendevur tae find ye a leg (or erum) tae suit,
awrite fur sum reezin we seem tae huv aw rite feet n erums the noo bit if push cums tae shuv then we cood always get wan ae the lokul gangsturs tae call in a wee debt thit canny be payed then bobs yur auntie! a left leg iz yurs big chap,n if the a4 sade limb is abit shoart then doaktur pat iz here tae lop a wee bit aff yur good wan ed
noo ah canny be farur thin that ed,
here ah widnae jist dae that fur anybidy ed its coz wur pals,
ps ye kin alsoe ordur oanline it:leglessinsaracen@posso pat .coe.youkay
gies ah shout edpp
oh & when things ur ah bit slak we cut trees doon tae,ur cum in tae oor sekund haun shoap (sorry) {Ed007's Note - I'll wait and see what the Doc says wee man and get back to you, honest.}

Doakturs whit dae they no,cut oot the middle man n cum tae us,ur whit aboot oor try befour ye by leg,look at it this waey ye go tae brazil fur yur coffee,italy fur yur spag ball,rusha fur yur voddy,so why not cum tae posso fur yur limbs?
eftur aw its no cauld the " amputee capitul ae the wuruld fur nuthin" think aboot it 6 thousind limbliss peepul canae be rang!
plus we have a wide range in assortit slippers tae lefts n rights tae (nae laces jist in case!)
thats me aff tae get ma ticket fur the granny slappurs stadium on sunday ed fur the winnurs enclosure no less,see n they sade wee craigo wiz useliss eh! {Ed007's Note - Who said Whyte was useless Pat? I hope you corrected them accordingly ;-)

Rite well dont cum hobblin eftur me when it faws aff oh no ma sun ahl be busy treetin aw ma " needy payshints",
oh hing oan ed ma mobies ringin,
"posso pat limb remoovin service,we cut limbs aff while you wate, ma names wee pat ahl be your amputee guide the day how kin ah assist?"" hello therI wiz jist wundrin aboot yur artifishul leg service,iz am legliss in the sarry!
fkn wind up merchints
ye coodnae make it up ed

Well edited {Ed007's Note - Naughty Pat ;-)

Noo thers ah man who cood teach ye tae hobble ed!
aka duglis badder {Ed007's Note - I'm going to stoat you Pat :-)

22 Mar 2012 11:31:04
I think Celtic are right to be sticking a big middle finger up to the other clubs over this SPL 10 meeting. Yes it is a little bit of a case of toys out the pram, but they are looking after themselves first, like all other teams do as well. The fact that they were not even invited to this meeting reeks in so many ways. I think if they were at least invited along Celtic would probably listen to their points and we could start to get somewhere. Only a fool would say that the current structure of the league is fine and dandy. And other options need explored.

Also how can they demand a bigger share of the pot? Although I feel it should be beneficial to more clubs than the OF this shouldn’t be demanded via backhanded meetings and decisions.. Celtic and Rangers are THE reason there is any money at all coming into Scottish football. Not Killie, not hibs or Inverness etc. So it is only right that you receive a proportion of the revenue received based on how much of that you attract, I’m afraid that’s how business works. You wouldn’t see a new fast food firm open up next door to a McDonalds then them go to McDonalds and ask for a hand out because they are stealing all the custom and therefore money. It doesn’t work like that in football or in life, you get what you can achieve and the likes of Celtic can achieve much more than all of these other 10 clubs (possibly even combined in the right climate) in a business sense, so why should they be hindered. This may be a tad unfair as it has created a bit of a monopoly within the Scottish game and I am all for Celtic or indeed both the OF taking a bit of a hit for for the greater good of Scottish football and I feel Celtic would do this given the right conditions. These current conditions of seeking this change however are not correct and have done nothing but alienate Celtic further from the rest of the SPL and making it more a case of us and them.

We need clarity, consensus and a will to take our game forward. I would love a much improved skill wise and more competitive league, who wouldn’t? but it has to be done in a mutually beneficial way to all and not in a manner that excludes anyone like this meeting has done to 2 teams and also that this does not hinder others ability to live within their means or prevent them from taking advantage of their size in terms of revenue generation and fan base or draw of television revenue.

A fairer way to split the pot would be to have a better prize fund from the pot available to all by increasing the amounts for coming in 12 to 3rd. Then distributing what’s left on a game by game basis to the clubs whose game is selected for TV rather than the mish mash of payments clubs receive for TV rights at the moment. That to me seems a bit fairer overall. It would mean Celtic and Rangers take a hit but not a massive one as it is inevitably their games that are shown on TV. But sadly I feel this is not what the other clubs want with regards to revenue.

Onto the voting system, I agree that for advancement if 2 out of 12 teams object an idea, be it good bad or indifferent it can be blocked by any 2 teams with an agenda or a disagreement , not just the OF. Usually it has worked that the ideas generated are not for the benefit of everyone and are for the punishment of the OF for being the size of clubs they are so of course they are going to club together and veto moves designed with the intention of weakening them financially and sportingly. It’s like someone telling you that you are getting a pay cut of 5% to pay for a pay rise to a colleague who does the exact same job as you do. No one in their right mind is going to vote for that. And the OF especially seldom have.

So I say to the SPL 10 as the press have branded them, yes look out for yourselves in a country where opportunities are limited as we all do, but you will set the game back doing it in underhanded and backstabbing ways and we will end up with changes implemented that do not benefit all who ply their trade in the SPL and in 5 years we end up back at square one again. So SPL 10 I say be careful what you wish for and the same goes to Celtic, be careful how you play this as it could get ugly. Be approachable and open to the possibility of change so long as it does not have as big an impact on the club as the other teams seem to want. Maybe good can come from this meeting, I doubt it , Celtic doubt it but there is always possibility and I hope for this possibility of openness, fairness and equality for all clubs that helps lead to a better product and a brighter future for all our clubs. The phrase do not bite the hand that feeds keeps coming to my mind whilst writing this as although I want more sharing I still do not see why Celtic or Rangers for that matter should basically subsidise the rest of the SPL by giving up revenue they have generated themselves unless it is done in an understanding and fairly split way.

Evinguu